Friday, November 27, 2009

Incompleteness Theorem

from Knatz.comMeta-Modules2003 06 05

Knatz.com was laid out in four frames. The bottom frame linked the two main sections: the minor section of modules about the author and the major section of modules about the universe, about society, epistemology, man, god, and so forth. The top frame highlighted a quote, typically a pk quote. The right frame displayed the content for a particular module, and the left frame linked to meta-modules: modules about Knatz.com: key words, site maps ... and the following:

Incompleteness Theorem

Heisenberg theorized that any experimental observation of the fundamental particles of matter must always remain incomplete. In order to observe an electron, the electron must be lit. The minimum amount of light that can make contact with an electron is one photon. If you bounce a photon off an electron, both particles must change velocity: the photon will maintain c speed but will alter direction: the electron will have both aspects of its velocity altered: its speed and its direction. The light shows where the electron was, but one can't now know where it is. Observing the position relocates it.

The argument boils down to this: if you know the particle's position, you can't know its velocity; if you know the particle's velocity, you can't know its position. Our knowledge of matter's time line must remain incomplete.

pk's life and work has its own incompleteness. I began my first novel when I was ten. My mother served as my secretary, typing from my dictation. I even sat her on my knee at one point.

An hour or so and a few pages into the story, my composition ground to a halt. I was written out: didn't know what the next line was ... Mom had gone off to make dinner. And there my "novel" remains: funny, clever (for a kid) ... and utterly, as so many school grades would thereafter record, incomplete. I've posted a fragment of that fragment, The Haunted House, here: 2009

When I won the round robin fencing tournament in college gym class (1957), I paraded myself before Coach Irv deKoff, expecting him to beg me to join the team. "You're great at creating openings," he said, "But you can't finish." Dismissed.

In 1966 great GBS scholar Dan Laurence tried to hire me to be his grad school reader. In twenty years of teaching graduate school, he had never had a student like me: the vocabulary, the interest, the passion ... Oh, no, NYU said, He has "Incompletes."

By the following year I had pretty well blocked out my
doctoral thesis. By 1971 I still hadn't gotten anything reflected back to me by the English Department that I recognized as signaling understanding. Certainly they knew that my subject was "Shakespeare's Sonnets": but they showed no inkling that I was saying anything significant: not only to the Sonnets but to Western ahem, thought. Boy, were they expert though at interrupting, at misreading, at misrepresenting ... (And that's another thing wrong with you, Knatz: you don't write in our jargon! You read like you were writing for the public, not for English experts!) Translate: You're not arcane enough to be unintelligible: like us!

(Translate further: You are failing to pick up the code by which we, representing (kleptocratic) English, destroy language and the possibility of communication.) (Indeed, it was Dan Laurence himself who said that to me most clearly.)

By 1970 I was corresponding with Ivan Illich and founding the world's first attempt to offer networking to the public: bypass the experts, connect people directly. Oh, no, no. No kleptocrat could tolerate a networked public. If the public had free access to its own information, then how could they be controlled? But this time it wasn't just the schools and universities that didn't cooperate in their own upgrading: the public didn't cooperate in their own best interests either!

Now, 2003, I try harder than ever to communicate some of the things the experts made sure the public never saw published from me. I start a module ... and four hours later have to go shopping. Before I return to it, another module must be started, then another.

Sure it's me: I don't finish. But I also know that the closer I got to any finish the more experts would be tying my ankles, dipping me in cement, stealing my water bottle, my rations ... It takes two to tango: a society to folk dance.

Who suffers more: Jesus, hanging on the cross? or the kleptocrats who put him there: punishment for trying to save us: the kleptocrats, who, by [our] interference, are therefore not saved?

Well, in Jesus' case, obviously, his suffering is terrible. But it's over in a day. Mine is nothing that bad: and over in a life time. But the suffering of the public in tolerating the crucifixion of saviors is unending. It's multiplied by billions ... over millennia!

If we had crucified Jesus before he was a dozen lines into his Sermon on the Mount, many left alive could still intuit what got interrupted: at least the gist: get it ... oh ... five percent right.

If we read what's extant of Lysander Spooner, can't we likewise guess what he might also have said had we not stood with our thumb in our ass while the government bankrupted him? Couldn't a half dozen other people have picked up the baton and tried to run with it? Tucker did. Moses Harmon ... But was it a half-dozen?

Ivan Illich's books were taken out of print, new ones not published, while they were best sellers! The bulk of my writing has never been published. Not one scholar has ever approached me with a clear model of what my thesis was! Not even ten percent of it. Only thirty years after FLEX had the phones disconnected have ... perhaps three people ... shown me that they get the gist of FLEX. That number is no greater with regard to Macroinformation
five years after starting to turn myself inside out over it.

Life is like an artist's studio, full of half-finished sketches.
Proust

Do my incomplete modules annoy you? Finish them. Jesus is on the cross? You talk peace: and forgiveness: and cooperation ... You'll be crucified too? So what? It will shorten your suffering: give you a joy you've never known.

I start to recapitulate Bateson's rap on the limits of logic ... I don't finish repeating what Bateson said? It's in his book. You fill in the rest. Email me your draft. I'll put it up: or tell you why not.

The thousand-odd text files here represent only a fraction of the notes I have for modules. Show up. Bring money. Bring a secretary. Ask me what my gibberish meant before I croak. A large part of it is already lost to me too, but I can recreate my original insight in some. And it doesn't matter because trying will stimulate a dozen new insights for every one lost!

The shaman bids the warriors torment the guy who says that they're wasting their time cutting themselves and bleeding all over the ground, trying to make it rain. The shaman has tenure. So do the elder warriors. The would-be reformer has nothing but lumps.

Peter dies of starvation, holding his finger in the dyke. The dyke gives way. The sea reclaims its own. Whoever doesn't drown loses his farm. It's Peter's fault, right? All the people who didn't help, didn't bring him a sandwich, can blame Peter for their faulty engineering.

Who suffers? Everybody.



OK, so what about the theorem?

That part was just a joke.



Other "incompleteness" modules from pk domains:Incompleteness: More Than One — from my Thinking Tools
Ivy League — from my Journal



2006 02 24

Years have a way of slipping by before I complete so much as my incompleteness statement(s). I really must get back to them. The idea of incompleteness relates importantly but differently to each of my domains:This module and the immediately preceding link aren't a bad start for K. ... but incompleteness also relates importantly to Deschooling and to Macroinformation.

Again, I emphasize: pk's three non-business domains are essentially about information, in three kinds: personal, public, theoretical. pk stars at K. Ivan Illich convivial networking, that is, public information mapping, stars at InfoAll. And information itself, particularly complex emergent information, stars at Macroinformation. Incompleteness relates to the three differently:

K. is incomplete because I haven't finished it. I haven't finished individual modules. I haven't finished critiquing the most elemental ideas. I haven't finished relating the most important facts. I haven't fished the overall layout.

Deschooling is named to suggest all information; but that's complex, even self-contradictory. Not all information is public business. What's in our minds, like what's in our underwear, is private: until we, not some kleptocrat, some SS agent, choose to pronounce it publicly. I dispute a society's right to know too much about families, I dispute families right to know to much about its individual members. ... Ah, but if the individual, family or individual individual, wishes to announce something, then by God, there should be a way to do it: cheaply and without any possibility of censorship. No one has to read your announcement, no one has to believe it. But you have the right to announce it. TV, newspapers, and the Pentagon/CERN's internet fail: by being expensive. The public cannot become legitimate until it sponsors, automatically and voluntarily, no coercion, a cheap way to publish. Owning and operating a PC with DSL is not cheap, not cheap enough. Only FLEX could have been.

Macroinformation talks about quantifying the macroinformation content of artifacts. But such quantifications, were anyone but pk interested in them, would necessarily remain incomplete. (Even Ted Williams didn't quite touch the right wall of possibility in hitting excellence, to repeat Stephen Jay Gould's example.)

This years history books prove that last years history books were not complete. Next years will prove that this years are still not complete.

I argue that four centuries of Shakespeare criticism have still not completely plumbed the complexities even of the two word oxymoron "salad days." I take it closer to the right wall. But pk doesn't touch the right wall either. I don't believe anyone ever will. (And if we had Shakespeare's own testimony, I can't imagine him bothering to take it even as far as I have!)

From InfoAll.org: Incompleteness: Not Quite "All" Information
From Macroinformation.org: Incompleteness in Macroinformation




2008 06 09

I just added the following note to one of many many imperfect modules. I wish I could magically add it to all it applies to. I wish I could magically perfect all those modules so they wouldn't need it. But I don't really mean that: life isn't like that, evolution isn't like that. Our theology has corrupted our sense. Man is not perfectible, neither is god, and neither are my modules: though they are, truly, possibly, improvable: while I live: and that is finite.

I have something to say here. It's not easy. If I thought my point was already generally understood I wouldn't be bothering. I am not at all happy with my draft so far. But, as is my habit, I've already added it to Knatz.com. Taking it down for polishing would be more work than the polishing. Glance at it. If you think you know what I mean, you probably don't. If you do, help out, damn it. Either way, check back. I may have found a way to say it so it works.


And even this module, particularly the postscripts, could use a lot more editing.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Murderers' Row

Adding to Knatz.com / Teaching / Society / NoHier / A-Conviviality /

Jail Stories
Murderers' Row

I just mentioned Bob Heartsong being my upper bunk mate in the Palm Beach jail. And I told how he was accused of murdering his wife and how the murder was written about on a deck of jail bird playing cards our neighbor had.

But Bob wasn't the only famous (accused) murderer in the joint. There were at least four guys preparing to be tried for murder. One of them was being tried while I was there. Every day he'd come back from the trail and watch himself, Ron Samuels, on the evening TV news as we ate dinner.

Bob said he didn't do it, and I believe him: completely. Ron Samuels was an egregious prick: and I bet he did do it. He was accused of hiring hit men to murder his wife. They botched it, she was in a wheel chair. She was at his trial, daily. Ron owned car dealerships from the Keys to Tallahassee: he sold 5,000 cars a day! a multi-billionaire. But that wasn't enough for him. He also imported cocaine. Etc. He caught his wife moving some of his millions off shore into numbered accounts with her boyfriend. Maybe she needed a little butchering. But Ron was a son of a bitch regardless of what she was.

Ron grabbed me once, telling me forcibly how much he hated me. I could have really gotten him for that. The jailers want an exclusive on the violence. State monopoly.

Fred Keller was another son of a bitch accused-wife-murderer. I don't know much about him, but he was an obnoxious wanker too. The keen thing was though: Fred owned the land the Gun Club Road Palm Beach jail sat on. He was also a multi-billionaire, but in Palm Beach real estate. Fed prisoners like me were guests of the fed. State prisoners like Bob, Ron, Fred (and about-to-be-mentioned Charlie), had to rent their jail cell from the state. Fred had to pay to be locked up, a couple of bucks a week; but the county, and the state, had to pay rent to him! Enormous rent, I don't doubt.

Charlie Mac was a great guy, I thought. His late wife's son demanded that he, Charlie, finance some heroin deal for him. He wanted seven figures in capital, or was it big six figures: $700,000 or a couple of million, something like that. Charlie told his no good step son, No. He also told him he didn't have it. The step son told him to take a mortgage on the beach house, he really need some big capital. He pulled a gun, he threatened Charlie. Charlie went and got his own gun, came back, calmly executed his step son. He then called the cops, told them what happened.

The cops should have checked it out, and given him a medal. But no. They threw this old man down on the floor, roughed him up, and cuffed him. Charlie too was waiting for his trial. I liked Charlie a lot.

I sure hope Bob and Charlie had successful defenses. I have Bob's address, I don't know Charlie Mac's whole last name: McSomething.


Above I reveal my opinions concerning the characters of the above accuseds. I don't know who did what. I don't know for a fact that Bob did not kill his wife. I report my impressions. When Ron grabbed me, he was expressing his opinion about my character, my worth. He didn't know me. I doubt that he's capable of knowing me. I don't claim infallibility that I know him: I emphasize that I do not know him. Neither do I want to know him. The damn government forced us into each other's company, all of us presided over fourth grade drop outs. You have to fail intelligence tests before you'll be admitted to law school, you have to prove yourself far-stupider-yet before the fascists will put you in change of those jailed by the state. If you just stumble upon this blog you will not likely know why I was arrested. A Martian could stumble into a church and not know who Jesus was or Paul or why they were arrested. Think what you will. I'm telling these stories, sharing impressions.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Cap Eraser

Adding to Knatz.com / Teaching / Society / NoHier / A-Conviviality /

Jail Stories

Cap Eraser

I was proud of many things I did and was and endured in jail. Most of them I don't expect any human to understand. But one proud defiance had an audience: was appreciated, talked about. The grape vine carried the story within hours. To wit: I smuggled something from Palm Beach into the Miami detention center!

When I was arrested the FBI / sheriff / goon team handcuffed me behind my back. The jail took everything I was wearing down to my briefs, gave me thin jail duds, and refrigerated me in a succession of pens, cells, jails. They laid a ton of paper work on me, copies of all their legalisms for violating the Constitution: I hadn't "done" anything; I'd written something — which they didn't know how to read: and didn't want me teaching them. Eventually I found a sort of a new home when they moved me into their old man's dorm in the Palm Beach jail. Ah, nice humans were among the oafs and gorillas, some smart people: accused murderers, DUIs, gun runners, shoplifters ... and who knew how many philosophers, writers, revolutionaries, anarchists. (Not many I don't think, but I doubt I was the only one.) My new roomies initiated me back to the good side of civilization: I was loaned books, good books. I was treated to cups of actual instant coffee: the jails served a hot beverage but it sure wasn't coffee. Bob, my bunk mate (he had seniority for the upper bunk: fine by me) introduced me to Sudoku. He gave me whole books of puzzles, 90% still to be solved. He had a pencil to lean me, and even had an extra cap eraser!

Pencils and cap erasers were available through the commissary: to those who had money on account. Actually receiving anything there was an ordeal, the order form was a Procrustean computer affair, like learning Chinese to be able to fill out so you'd actually get what you wanted and not just forfeit your precious commissary balance. (The commissary stole 80% of my money once I did have an account.)

Finally I was moved to the Miami Detention Center. I'd looked forward to it. A veteran Miami con couldn't wait to get out of Palm Beach and get back to Miami. He said everything was better, the food, the cells: and Miami was less refrigerated than Palm Beach. All true, I discovered. But: Miami's commissary didn't carry cap erasers. Cap erasers were not allowed in Miami. Time was passing. I'd been a jail for months. I'd become addicted to Sudoku. I'd managed to find pencils and Miami even had a pencil sharpener: you don't take any such things for granted once the government decides that you haven't had enough interference between school and taxes and the military. If the jail doesn't manage to kill you in the first days, and believe me, they try, you may just live: on and on. Trust me: a cap eraser is the difference between Sudoku torture and pleasure.

Back in Palm Beach for a few days, Bob gave me an extra cap eraser of his. How could I smuggle back to Miami with me? I figured I could swallow it, then try to poke through my shit over the next several days, hoping to fish it back out, clean it off, and use it. But I thought of another possibility: all that paper work they were forever dumping on me, telling the world I was a terrorist, a mass murderer, a danger to society, the federal marshalls had to carry your paper work for you. You took your legal papers from your cell to the holding cell, then from the holding cell to the process in and out area. There the legal papers were taken from you. You were told you'd get it back. Sure enough, the first few times they did give my paper work back to me, once back in the jail at the other end of the loop: until Palm Beach finally stole all my legal papers on one of my many trips to see the judge in Fort Pierce, Palm Beach providing the local motel. So: I stuck my cap eraser in amidst my legal papers, hoping it would still be there, accessible to me, at the other end.

Sure enough. Palm Beach strips me, searches me, looks up my ass, in my hair, in my mouth, under my teeth ... but I'd already passed the eraser in with the papers. The papers get handed by the jail to the marshals. Back in Miami the marshals hand my papers to the Miami jailors. I stripped again, searched again, issued new Miami duds, shoved back in the holding cell. Ah. The guards bring our "property" to return to us. I recognize my bag. It's got my novels in it, my Sudoku, my pencils, a candy bar ... I wait and grab it when allowed. Out comes my Sudoku, out comes my pencil, I eat the candy bar. Then I see my manilla envelop on the counter. Next time out of the holding cell I ask if I can take back my legal papers now. I pat the package down. I feel no trace of a cap eraser. Oh, well. It was a good idea, a good try. But they found it, confiscated it. Who knows how they'll punish me now. But back in the holding cell with my property bag and my legal papers, I go through the papers carefully. There it is. Exactly where I put it!

I insert the cap eraser over the pencil end. I proceed with my Sudoku. Within minutes, I'm noticed. "Where's he get that cap eraser?" "How'd he do that?" The guard heard the murmurs, looked up. The guard saw my cap eraser immediately. "How'd he get that?" The guard shook his head. But smiled. He wasn't going to confiscate it even though he saw it. He was going to allow me that point.

One of the guys in the holding cell was a Rasta-man I recognized from my floor: 7 Charlie West or some such designation. He was looking at my cap eraser and shaking his head in awe.

Weeks later, he still say as he saw me coming, "You Hannibal Lecter, man. You a genius!"

Wonderful. How I love that Rasta-man for his admiration, and his particular expression of it. I identify with Jesus. I identify with Galileo. And I very much identify with Hannibal Lecter (and also with his creator, Thomas Harris. Lecter is smarter than all the fascists put together. They make him suffer but he knows joys they cannot be informed of. And when we get to know him a bit, Harris introduces sympathies for his "monster" we wouldn't have believed possible. As with Puzo's Godfather, Don Corleone is more moral than the cops and lawyers who call him a crook. He doesn't well in his world in his way.

I don't do well in the world, but I do do what I do in my way. Perfectly reasonable responses, if only facts are allowed. But society never admits facts, except facts of the kleptocrats' own choosing.


Bob, my bunk mate in Palm Beach, Bob Heartsong, was charged with killing his wife. Some guys in our wing had a deck of cards where each card referred to some famous murder. Don't you know Bob was right there! It was his new Mrs. who kept him supplied in Sudoku puzzles and Bernard Cornwell novels, all of which got passed to me. Poor Bob loaned me a sweat shirt in S8C for which I'll be forever thankful, but of course the jail stole it from me before I could return it to him. There's a good reminder: I owe him a letter as well as a sweat shirt and another thank you.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Jail Stories

When the FBI arrested me I couldn't wait to get back online to tell about it. I dreamed that I'd use my trial as a sounding board for deschooling. My public defender was crystal clear in assuring me that the public's betrayal of trust was only beginning: I wouldn't be able to fit an idea or a fact into the trial sideways. He was not there to help me but to serve as a cover for the fascists doing whatever they want: he'd make sure that the judge pissed with his left hand if that what the kleptocracy's Koran prescribed: and that's all. No justice was wanted, no justice would be allowed; unless you mean by "justice," the predator kleptocrats having their way.

The court knocked down one domain, one of five, and the rest toppled with it, including my business, online since the early 1990s. Somewhere along the way I learned that the FBI had stolen my computers. It was nearly two years later before they returned them to me: disassembled, working after a fashion, but no longer coordinated, no longer networked, no longer seamlessly sharing Mac OS X AND 9 (so I could continue to use my old DTP software, inoperable under Mac OS X). Back home, my thousands of files online destroyed, I had no way of writing. Scribble served me once, but no longer. I needed to word-process, and to FTP: to publish: to resume my function of warning the world: like Jeremiah ... like John ... like Jesus.

Too late now I don't doubt, though perhaps it wasn't too late when I first tried full time, tried to make a profession of reform, in 1970. Bucky Fuller had said that 1968 was mankind's fulcrum year, the year by which we'd either have learned how to live or begin suffering the consequences of being too late. I'd hoped that Bucky's figure was soft by two years: or that we had figured it out by 1968 and were just getting rolling in 1970. But we'd figured nothing, and nothing rolled, except more kleptocratic hubris.

My son found me an iMac at eBay (never forget that eBay plagiarizes my FLEX of 1970) for $40. A few days later I was busy transcribing my notes from jail, written on scraps, on napkins, with bits of pencil stub only jailed Americans would recognize as usable into new FileMaker databases: jail stories. And there they've remained. My best jail stories are trivial compared to what got censored at Knatz.com as a domino effect from the fed trashing my AgainstHierarchy.org. I'm again writing like crazy, posting stuff to blogs; but I feel like I'm falling further behind the more I write. The parole people have threatened me if I remount. I've been remounting anyway: but not wholesale: and I can't afford economically to put up what I have. And a blog is not a domain, let along a half a dozen distinct domains. Still, a dozen blogs are doing for me the best I can.

But boy do I look forward to telling my jail stories. They'll appear here, at my PaulKnatz blog, soon, I trust. But they're not re-postings from Knatz.com; they'll be first tellings.



Ferinstance

There are none more profound than this one:

I may burn in hell forever for this.

The speaker is Dave Lee Brannen, Federal Public Defender. No, he's not talking about me, the felon, burning; he's confessing that he himself is an enemy of God in refusing to help the court see that I, Paul Knatz, am a servant of Jesus, a messenger of God, a 1970 inventor of the internet ... a public servant: sabotaged, railroaded by kleptocrats, by thieves. PS: Dave got a $5,000 bonus from the fed for tricking me into confessing.

Understand: I confessed for a two-sided reason:
1) I needed to update Knatz.com. (I didn't know yet that circumstances would combine to censor it as well as the specific satire, a revenge fantasy, I'd been arrested for writing and emailing to NYU's English department.)
2) Dave was making it clear to me that a Palm Beach jury would be no more likely to understand what I was saying than the judge was. Therefore: I was looking at a probable forty years in jail, age 69, with sky high blood pressure, going blind, already deaf. No: I had to get back to Knatz.com.

But of course that too was a betrayal: they took it all away.

Then again, it was taken away before I was born, before Jesus was born, more than ten thousand years ago: once we'd way-over-bred. (Actually, it's older than that: the Late Pleistocene Overkill occurred before agriculture was developed. Still, agriculture is a key accelerator in human overpopulation.)



Too Stupid To Live!

Broke, arrested, assigned a federal public defender, I quickly assessed Dave Lee Brannen to be the most intelligent lawyer I've ever spoken to for longer than a minute: the only intelligent lawyer I'd ever spoken to for longer than five minutes. He seemed to follow everything I said about my life, my dedication to deschooling, my discipleship to Ivan Illich / Jesus, my philosophical anarchism. I explained how Illich, imagining Christ, became a critic of human institutions. His deconstruction of the Church was followed by an exposure of the cultural imperialism implicit in new American policies toward South America – Chile didn't need American roads or GM trucks, it needed to be allowed to find its own solutions. That thesis was followed by his indictment of compulsory schooling. (And that was followed by a deconstruction of the health industry ...) Dave Brannen followed how I offered Illich's design for cybernetic public data bases of resources to replace schools – a map of the community is closer to God than a cop telling you what to do, when and where to do it, and what you must pay. Freedom accompanies open markets; compulsion defeats markets and freedom. Dave followed my contribution to see that local learning networks could become data bases for every kind of resource and that local networks could become inter-networked. Dave followed precisely my conclusion, given my experience, that civilization was God and Nature's solution to human over-population, that civilization was Nature's tool to purge over-reaching man from the biosphere, he smiled and laughed at my terse conclusion that we are
Too Stupid To Live!

That was in October 2006, our brief meeting of the 13th being followed by further visits. But Dave Lee Brannen made it clear to me that the court did not and would not follow those points and that a Palm Beach jury, of my peers ha ha ha, would be very hostile to anyone who disapproved of their imperial kleptocracy. Dave assured me that he, though he expected to
burn in hell forever for this,
would do nothing to help me wedge relevant facts or points into the trial, the fed's fictions would prevail, and I would go to jail for forty years; unless I pleaded guilty, said I was wrong. Then the judge might sentence me to the minimum punishment: 15 months.

Well, if I couldn't use my trail as a stage for my points, then I had to get back online and update Knatz.com: add these new stories to my already existing 2,500 text file indictment of my society already online. I didn't know that the judge would censor my letters to my university, I had no idea that my domains host would trash all of my domains, that my existing voice would be further silenced. I didn't know that the FBI was monkeying with my computers, destroying their synergy. I didn't know that the fed, from the FBI to the court, was destroying my business or that the parole board would join the tag team to keep me from remounting my domains.

Just before the sentencing trial Dave told to my face the first typical lawyerly lie: he said these federal court people, judges, prosecutors were
intelligent people.
Then he folded in a truth
They have no sense of humor.

Then he warned me, if I wanted a light sentence, don't tell them that they are

Too Stupid To Live!




This one I just learned this morning, 2009 11 22. I quote a current email from my girlfriend of 1957. Jackie says:I saw online when searching for your name that there is a notice that you were arrested and all questions should be directed to your son, Brian. That is a hell of a thing to have out there in public.
You're a strong person to deal with all of this.
News to me. My son hasn't informed me of any collusion. But then he hasn't said anything about how he let my domains evaporate: he'd taken over paying my bills, but didn't pay that specific one.

He had all my online files and easily could have put back the ones the fed wasn't censoring. Hell, he could have put back the ones the fed was censoring and pointed out the fed's misreading!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Redhead Revisited

Actuality OK; Sentience Taboo

Mid-October I posted a few drafts of the following at IonaArc:Escorting a cute red head back to our table I found the aisle blocked by a single wide body. I skipped holding her chair that time and let her go around by herself. But the guy turned out to have been lying in ambush. He grabbed Red and squeezed her.

Red didn't seem flustered. She sat down and said to her friend sitting across from her (next to me), "I just got a grab."

I was frustrated because I'd been elaborately courtly to Red all day: bowing at the end of a dance, offering her my arm as we walked, holding her chair ... and Mr. Wide's heterosexual aggression I already found boorish. I'd allowed myself to be finessed out of the action and was frustrated and tongue tied. But Red's friend didn't say anything either. The rest of our table seconded the silence. But back home I posted a report immediately (at IonaArc): and asked the following ethical conundra:

What should Red have done or said? What should I have done or said? What should our friends have done or said? What should our senior social have done once I told our CEO?
I told the incident through a couple of drafts. First I used the redhead's given name, then I used a single initial, then I renamed her "Red." One draft offered a single initial for the Widebody. Each draft made a series of attempts to evoke Red's femininity. A few years ago a girl friend called me "the Michelangelo of erotica": that's the well-developed muscle I was further exercising (as I'll quote below).

One friend who had been present refused to comment. Red herself had a severe reaction: which she did not elaborate or explain: she merely broke a date with me and said she didn't want to talk to me. Why? I don't know. But I'll guess below.

The balance of this I'll develop scrapbook fashion: foundation, background, details, reflections ... here, at the PaulKnatz blog: it's become a personal story.



My suspicion has been confirmed. Ahn, the founder of our social and my dear buddy, told me that Red's objection had been to my using the first initial of her given name while I referred to her female features. I intend to quote the drafts, let you judge for yourself, but first: Ahn, who read the drafts, assured me that had I said those things about her, she would have been flattered.

That's the reaction I see as appropriate. I was using the post to raise the questions and also to further my flirting with Red. Now though the female features I'd mentioned remain the same, I see her mean little mouth, her narrow petulant vision, and I am repelled.

But here's what I wrote: Draft 2:B.'s mammary endowment is everything it should be for her size: but he didn't grab her boobs. Neither did he grope her cute pixie behind (B.'s best feature to my eye (next to her red hair and turned-up up Celtic nose)).Draft 2 is what I presume offended Red. Cautiousness to over-cautiousness seems to be characteristic of her.

Draft 3:Understand: information is difference: and as I touch B. at her waist, or at her shoulder blade, or back and forth as the dancing requires, the difference between her narrow waist and her complementarily-shaped upper body twinkles the male-est narrow of my male-most marrow. In other words, this woman is oh-so-female! This woman is cute!Now that's erotic writing!

2010 Sept 09 My girl friend made a comment about Red, actual name, Barbara, yesterday that made me decided to come here and ID her, at least by given name. Barbara Hester pisses lots of people off (as do I) so I no longer protect the privacy which she abuses herself anyway.

What I find most intriguing this bulk of a year later is this group of seniors' reluctance to see a crime as something mentionable. Barbara didn't object, so no crime was committed. If the Germans killed all Jews and no Nazis objected, would there have been no crime? In their world, apparently; but not in mine.

2011 10 24 Cheez, another update earned:

A New Year after the original incident Barbara said to me that she wanted to let bygones be bygones. She wouldn't dance with me anymore, but she'd cease the cold shoulder. She'd still sat at my table; she just wouldn't make eye contact, or talk to me: I'd ceased asking her if she wanted to meet me at other dances: we had been dance dating, we were good dance partners, i'd been courting her, like her a lot, let everyone know it. But now these couple of years later, she still pretends I'm invisible. There are additional details I'll skip – to get to tonight:

Duffers Bar has been offering line dancing since last March or so. I go sometimes, Barbara and her present dance partner, Roy, go regularly. A couples' oval dance was offered. The males on the inside of the oval moved counterclockwise, the females on the outside moved clockwise. Each male dances one set of steps with each female. I circled up to Barbara. She saw me. She froze: and refused to do the pair with me. Why? What the hell does she imagine happened those couple of years ago. She was boorish then, she's insisting on being boorish now. I said to her, "Why are you being so ridiculous?"
"Kiss my ass," she hissed at me! And she subtracted herself from the circle!

She was disturbing the dance, being rude, being obscene. I didn't notice anyone objecting.

It's embarrassing to live in Highlands County Florida, but then I've always been embarrassed to live where ever I've lived. America, democracy, Christianity ... all sham. All hypocrisy.