Redhead Revisited

Actuality OK; Sentience Taboo

Mid-October I posted a few drafts of the following at IonaArc:Escorting a cute red head back to our table I found the aisle blocked by a single wide body. I skipped holding her chair that time and let her go around by herself. But the guy turned out to have been lying in ambush. He grabbed Red and squeezed her.

Red didn't seem flustered. She sat down and said to her friend sitting across from her (next to me), "I just got a grab."

I was frustrated because I'd been elaborately courtly to Red all day: bowing at the end of a dance, offering her my arm as we walked, holding her chair ... and Mr. Wide's heterosexual aggression I already found boorish. I'd allowed myself to be finessed out of the action and was frustrated and tongue tied. But Red's friend didn't say anything either. The rest of our table seconded the silence. But back home I posted a report immediately (at IonaArc): and asked the following ethical conundra:

What should Red have done or said? What should I have done or said? What should our friends have done or said? What should our senior social have done once I told our CEO?I told the incident through a couple of drafts. First I used the redhead's given name, then I used a single initial, then I renamed her "Red." One draft offered a single initial for the Widebody. Each draft made a series of attempts to evoke Red's femininity. A few years ago a girl friend called me "the Michelangelo of erotica": that's the well-developed muscle I was further exercising (as I'll quote below).

One friend who had been present refused to comment. Red herself had a severe reaction: which she did not elaborate or explain: she merely broke a date with me and said she didn't want to talk to me. Why? I don't know. But I'll guess below.

The balance of this I'll develop scrapbook fashion: foundation, background, details, reflections ... here, at the PaulKnatz blog: it's become a personal story.

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My suspicion has been confirmed. Ahn, the founder of our social and my dear buddy, told me that Red's objection had been to my using the first initial of her given name while I referred to her female features. I intend to quote the drafts, let you judge for yourself, but first: Ahn, who read the drafts, assured me that had I said those things about her, she would have been flattered.

That's the reaction I see as appropriate. I was using the post to raise the questions and also to further my flirting with Red. Now though the female features I'd mentioned remain the same, I see her mean little mouth, her narrow petulant vision, and I am repelled.

But here's what I wrote: Draft 2:B.'s mammary endowment is everything it should be for her size: but he didn't grab her boobs. Neither did he grope her cute pixie behind (B.'s best feature to my eye (next to her red hair and turned-up up Celtic nose)).Draft 2 is what I presume offended Red. Cautiousness to over-cautiousness seems to be characteristic of her.

Draft 3:Understand: information is difference: and as I touch B. at her waist, or at her shoulder blade, or back and forth as the dancing requires, the difference between her narrow waist and her complementarily-shaped upper body twinkles the male-est narrow of my male-most marrow. In other words, this woman is oh-so-female! This woman is cute!Now that's erotic writing!

2010 Sept 09 My girl friend made a comment about Red, actual name, Barbara, yesterday that made me decided to come here and ID her, at least by given name. Barbara Hester pisses lots of people off (as do I) so I no longer protect the privacy which she abuses herself anyway.

What I find most intriguing this bulk of a year later is this group of seniors' reluctance to see a crime as something mentionable. Barbara didn't object, so no crime was committed. If the Germans killed all Jews and no Nazis objected, would there have been no crime? In their world, apparently; but not in mine.

2011 10 24 Cheez, another update earned:

A New Year after the original incident Barbara said to me that she wanted to let bygones be bygones. She wouldn't dance with me anymore, but she'd cease the cold shoulder. She'd still sat at my table; she just wouldn't make eye contact, or talk to me: I'd ceased asking her if she wanted to meet me at other dances: we had been dance dating, we were good dance partners, i'd been courting her, like her a lot, let everyone know it. But now these couple of years later, she still pretends I'm invisible. There are additional details I'll skip – to get to tonight:

Duffers Bar has been offering line dancing since last March or so. I go sometimes, Barbara and her present dance partner, Roy, go regularly. A couples' oval dance was offered. The males on the inside of the oval moved counterclockwise, the females on the outside moved clockwise. Each male dances one set of steps with each female. I circled up to Barbara. She saw me. She froze: and refused to do the pair with me. Why? What the hell does she imagine happened those couple of years ago. She was boorish then, she's insisting on being boorish now. I said to her, "Why are you being so ridiculous?"
"Kiss my ass," she hissed at me! And she subtracted herself from the circle!

She was disturbing the dance, being rude, being obscene. I didn't notice anyone objecting.

It's embarrassing to live in Highlands County Florida, but then I've always been embarrassed to live where ever I've lived. America, democracy, Christianity ... all sham. All hypocrisy.